Relationship Advice
Yesterday, I wrote my dad a personal letter about my recent career thoughts and my relationship concerns, and then unbeknownst to me (although foreseeable, given his history), he forwarded it unabridged to an attorney in Nor Cal asking her to give me advice. My dad is so interesting. Which father would pass around so freely the inner muses of his child? I think one reason why I ended up so readably transparent is because I have grown up in a household where no stones are left unturned.
So here is the unabridged advice from a mother, wife, and a successful lawyer to a young, confused, law student, concerning the most important quality one should look for in a spouse, given the vocation of the legal trade.
—Joseph Tsang
Dear Joseph:
The following is something that I think is important in a relationship.
找一個能隨時隨地聊天的人, 在 ”藝術人生” 節目裡,主持人問一位有名望的來賓「40歲了怎麼還沒結婚」?來賓笑著說「沒有找到合適的」。 「想找一個什麼樣的呢?」來賓沉思了片刻,回答:「就想找一個隨時隨地能和我聊天的人!」主持人笑了:「這還不容易?」來賓 大搖其頭,很認真地說:「不容易!不容易!有些話,在有些時候,對有些人。找到一個你想跟她說,能跟她說的人,不容易!」
另一個是電視連續劇《康熙大帝》裡的康熙,後宮粉黛三千,他最愛的人是容妃。
他到容妃那裡最愛說的話就是「朕想和你說說話!」然後就國事家事地傾訴一番。到後來不得已廢棄容妃後,每每習慣使然,鬱悶時 總要走到容妃宮前。但人去宮空,貴為千古大帝,連一個說話的人也沒有!
這兩個 成功人士 對愛人的要求都同樣能夠說說話而已!細細想來也就如此:你的事情再偉大,再轟轟烈烈,你也是一個人,一個有七情六慾的平凡的 人。希望有那麼一個貼 心貼肺,知冷知熱,能深刻理解你的思想與情感的人在身邊,跟你交流,溝通。這樣,你就不至於孤單,寂寞。
曾經在書上看到這樣一段話:「找一個你愛聊的人做伴,因為當你年齡大了以後,你會發現喜歡聊天是一個人最大的優點。」當時還 以為這只是小女人情懷,現在看來,不只女人,男人更有這樣的要求啊。那就找個你愛聊而興趣相投的人做伴吧。
拉住一個你時時刻刻、隨時隨地想跟她說、又有說不完的話的人的手,你就擁有了康熙都沒有的幸福!
—Kept Anonymous